People don’t like to feel dismissed. Did you know when you “Yes, but” a person, that person feels dismissed? When people feel dismissed they try to assert themselves which leads to a tense and frustrating interaction.
One of the most powerful tools in language is acknowledgement. My research shows that simply acknowledging what the other party says helps the other party to feel heard, and as a result, that person is now ready to listen and consider what you have to say.
Those who were evaluated as the most effective negotiators in the study were those who helped the other party feel acknowledged. Those who were least effective were those who made the other party feel dismissed.
Acknowledgment can be simply saying “It sounds like…” or “It seems as if…” and then leave space for them to agree or give more information. Some fear that acknowledgement may be confused with agreement. No need to worry, my research shows that no one confuses the two.
Acknowledgment is appreciated because it indicates listening and no one dislikes a good listener. Consider acknowledging others more and you will find a positive response in return. Next week, trying to be respectful but having the opposite effect.
